How to Be Your Own Valentine

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How to be your own valentine - Leanne LindseyAs I’ve been single on Valentine’s Days during many years of my adult life, it’s never been a big deal for me.

But I know that for many, being single on Valentine’s – or even being in a relationship where the other person does not acknowledge the day, can feel somewhat depressing.

This is not, however, a post on how awesome it is to be single because let’s keep it real, sometimes being single sucks, no matter how fab your life is.

So, being an advocate for self-care I thought this year I’d put together a mini-guide on how to be your own valentine.

After all, Valentine’s Day is about expressing your love for someone special and there’s no reason that someone special can’t be you!

Plan in advance

February 14th is a busy day, for obvious reasons so to ensure your Valentine’s Day is everything you want it to be, you will need to do some things in advance.

  • Book appointments

Valentine’s Day is typically all about the treats and being pampered.

You can get your hair or nails done or have a facial or massage.

Alternatively, you can choose something more holistic such as having a tarot reading or chakra cleansing session.

To avoid disappointment on the day, book your appointment in advance.

  • Go shopping

As well as any appointments, there will be pampering happening at home so you need to stock up on your supplies in advance.

You’ll need luxurious skin care products for the bath and for moisturising.

Additionally, if you choose to make your meals, decide what you’ll be having beforehand and then buy everything you need. You may choose to indulge in sweets treats, or perhaps you’ll choose to nourish your body with healthy organic food.

If you enjoy reading magazines, also pick up one or two of your favourites to flick through on the day.

Finally, you’ll need to buy a card or some pretty letter writing paper – choose something you’d love to receive.

  • Disconnect

The night before, let everyone know you’ll be unavailable for the entire day or just the evening, then disconnect.

If you have the entire day then do it the night before, otherwise, you can do it as soon as you get home on Valentine’s evening.

Either switch your phone off completely or put it on silent mode and turn off your data connection. Then put your phone in another room or a drawer so you’re not tempted to check it.

  • Write and post your love letter

Of course, Valentine’s is all about the card and I’m sure we all have unpleasant memories of not receiving a card.

This year, guarantee that you’ll receive a genuine authentic written expression of love by sending it yourself.

Tell yourself how great you are, how far you have come and how much you are loved.

Seal it with a kiss, and a spray of your favourite perfume then stick a stamp on it and post it to yourself – yes, actually physically post it! 

How to be your own valentine

OK, so now, you’re good to go.

You’re all set to be your own Valentine and quite possibly have the best Valentine’s day yet.

If you have the entire day, here’s how you do it:

  • Breakfast in bed

Start with breakfast in bed with a book or your favourite magazine.

Granted you may have to prepare it yourself, but make it something yummy and enjoy to the fullest.

Too often these days, time for breakfast is a luxury so allow yourself to savour every last bite.

  • Dress to impress

Next shower and get dressed in your favourite outfit.

Make an effort and choose clothes that make you feel fierce.

Wear your best lingerie, perfume and accessories.

Ensure that wherever you choose to spend your day, you slay.

  • Read your love letter

Hopefully, the postal service is good to you and your love letter arrives before you leave the house.

Read it several times and take in the words.

Even though you wrote it, you’ll be surprised at the impact reading positive words about yourself can have.

  • Treat yo’self

By this point, you should be feeling happy and relaxed.

Remember your phone should be off, which will greatly reduce the chances of someone negatively impacting your day.

Spend a couple of hours pampering yourself by doing something love. This could be a beauty treatment or a stroll around a museum, gallery or bookstore.

Whatever pampering looks like for you, do it.

And if you feel like it, and your budget allows, treat yourself to lunch before heading home to miss rush hour.

  • Pamper yourself

That’s right, you’ve still got the whole night ahead of you.

If you need to prepare dinner, do so before sinking into a candle-lit bath with your favourite 90s slow jams (OK, 90s slow jams are optional – but I highly recommend it).

Spend as long as you need. Refill the hot water several times and wrinkle. There’s no rush. Tonight is all about you and being treated like the goddess that you are.

Finally, do whatever feels good. Netflix and chill with dinner – either cooked or take out, hot chocolate and a good book or maybe even an early night.

Some of us have to work! And some of us have kids!

I hear you.

I’m well aware that for some, it is not so easy to be your own valentine in this way.

The intention of this blog post is to emphasise that although it’s nice to have someone else treat you like a Queen, it is possible for you to do it for yourself.

This year Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday but there is no reason you cannot do this on a Saturday or a Sunday or on any other day of the year.

If you have children, organise a babysitter for a day or weekend, and have an entire day for yourself.

For those of you working on Tuesday, you can still be your own Valentine:

  • You can wake up earlier and make sure you eat breakfast either at home or in a nice coffee shop and enjoy it with a book or your favourite magazine.
  • You can dress to impress.
  • You can use your lunch hour to treat yourself.
  • You can send yourself a love letter.
  • You can cook or order yourself a nice dinner.
  • You can have a candle-lit bath.
  • You can disconnect from all things digital during your lunch hour and in the evening.

Remember, you too are someone special and deserve to be shown love and you can be your own valentine all through the year.

P.S. There’s no reason why you can’t share your Valentine’s Day experience with your bestie.



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